The rig

The rig outside of Jakarta

So, as most of my friends and family know I was sent to Indonesia to work for a company drilling on an oil rig.  Coming from Canada, and Calgary especially, I had certain expectations of what the rig would look like.  I had a basic idea of what my job would entail, and I knew it would be a bit of hard work, but I had in no way prepared myself for what the accomodations would be like.  When, I first arrived at the land rig just outside of Jakarta I was in for a shock!   This rig is different than most as the accomodations are in a separate place than the rig, about 5km apart.  After driving for 4 hours with half of the drive being on bumpy dirt roads I arrived at the "camp". 

My bed - I called bottom

After sitting outside in silence for an hour or so (no one here speaks english and the rest of the crew has yet to arrive) someone shows me to my room.  It is the size of a walk in closet with two sets of bunk beds against the wall.  It reminds me of a couchette I once took on a train in Italy, only less clean.  Since there is a full moon, the room is also infested with beetles (don't ask me how that is related, it just is).  Small ones that fly, but mostly get stuck on their back and flit around.   The air-conditioning is broken and when it's 4 in the afternoon and 33 degrees outside, that sucks.  Too hot to sit in my room I go back outside and stare at the ground for another few hours until the crew arrives.   

Once the crew gets there I ask them where I can find the washroom.  The response I get is unsafe.  Well that doesn't really help me out much.  When I ask why it's unsafe the response is wait until the rig.  Hmmm, so I go off to adventure and find this unsafe washroom on my own.  So, I find the bathroom I think.  Rather it's a trailer that is filled with these little rooms with holes in the ground.  Now I am not exagerating when I say that it is honestly a 2 inch hole in the ground.  It's pretty sketchy.  Turns out the unsafe part is the large window in the side that is not covered.  Anyone and everyone can watch you squatting in all your glory.  I have no idea how long i'm on the rig for, but I already know it's too long!

First stop when I get back to Jakarta, a spa to scrub my shame away.

laba-laba

Anyone that really knows me can definitely vouch for my ridiculously huge and irrational fear of spiders.  I hadn't really give much thought to the spiders in Indonesia... until this morning when I got out of the shower i was greeted by a huge spider.  We're not talking daddy long-legs or anything like that, this was a tarantula, really hairy with long legs, big enough that I could tell he was staring at me.  I did the obvious mature thing and screamed, ran into my attached bedroom and closed my bathroom door.  I had to "air dry" since I didn’t have time to get my towel out of the bathroom before making my escape. 

I then had a problem, I had him trapped in the bathroom but there was absolutely no way I was going back in there.  I waited until I got to work and asked the secretary to phone my maid (yes everyone in Indonesia has a maid - more on that another day) and ask her if she can kill it.   Since I don’t speak Bahasa I couldn't really convey the importance of not letting it escape alive because if that thing crawls on me when i'm sleeping i'm on the first flight home.  The maid had apparently trapped and released the spider that afternoon, and to be honest I believed her.  If I didn't there is no way I would get another wink of sleep in the room.

Awkward bathroom moments

I'm not sure if anyone is aware of this, but toilet paper a rarity in indonesia.  Instead, they prefer what I like to refer to as a "bum gun" which is essentially just a high pressure sprayer attached to a hose beside the toilet.  Unfortunatly the food here isn't quite up to the same standard as North America and I've been told that it takes some time to get used to all of the "bacteria".  So, needless to say I've been making frequent trip to the washroom here.  Lucky for me, work is the one place I have been lucky enough to find toilet paper... until today.  Sadly enough, I didn't think to check the status of the toilet paper today before using the bathroom and was stuck in the predicament of having only one slice left... this just simply wouldn't suffice.  So i thought, hey lets go for it!  This bum gun exists for a reason and maybe they know something I don't.  Clearly they still know something I don't.  On first attempt, I just didn't feel that the sprayer was enough, this was when i noticed the soap dispenser beside the toilet.  Ahhh!  that makes sense.  So I did what anyone in my situation would do and put some soap on my hand.  Now I didnt feel that comfortable applying the soap with my bare hand so i transferred most of it to my one square of toilet paper, crises averted, or so I thought.  The hose was rather short, so i would still have to use my right hand (now covered in soap) to spray myself while strategically using my sole piece of toilet paper to apply soap.  Now, since I had already used the sprayer it was a little bit wet, and these aren't the newest facilities around and it turns out the sprayer sticks.  Just imagine what happens next, the sprayer locks on, immediately slips out of my soapy hands and you all know what a hose does when it's spraying out of control.  It soaked the ceiling, the door and worst of all me (unfortunately everywhere but where it was intended) before I was able to shut it off.  So I have done a complete walk of shame, I left the washroom soaked and am now sitting at my desk with wet hair, a wet sweater and with everyone probably laughing at me because they know exactly what has happened.